The New Girl.

Divorce. It’s a scary word. It’s a sad word. But sometimes for two people, it’s the only word left that hasn’t been screamed, or fought over. Usually when this word comes up, the fairytale has reached the ending. The story has ended. It is the official, the end. No, this blog isn’t going to be an angry story of my divorce. Luckily for my ex husband and I, our angry time has passed. We honestly didn’t have many angry moments after our marriage ended. We had words, but we handled everything almost text book perfect, if that is at all possible. This blog is about what happens after the divorce. You hear horror stories sometimes about “the new girl” that has entered your old life. Who has stepped into your old place and is playing your old role. (I really had a hard time making that last sentence sound right.) Sometimes it is extremely hard for some women to handle, and things can turn downright ugly. It’s scary especially when you have children. A mother has the power to make “the new girls” life an absolute hell, just to punish the ex. And probably to try to punish her as well. I’m not exactly sure how it all works. I know some amazing ladies who have significant others with previous children. We’ve talked about it and the horror stories and it breaks my heart. Here are these amazing women offering themselves to someone else’s children with open arms and love, and instead of seeing this as good, these mothers are down right making life hell for them. Why!?

When I learnt that my ex husband had someone new, I one hundred percent honest to God instantly thought, what about my kids? I didn’t hate him for moving on, I didn’t resent her for being with him, I was worried about what kind of person he was bringing into my children’s lives. So I did what any female would do. I turned into Sherlock Holmes and I figured that shit out. Every single detail I could possibly learn about her without a blood draw, I learnt. It doesn’t make me crazy. It makes me human. So, even though I have never officially met this “new girl,” and it will probably be a long time before I do, I just really wanted to say….

Dear amazing woman who has happily entered my children’s life with open arms, and love…..Thank you for making the biggest fear of my whole entire divorce disappear. I’ve heard the horror stories. I know how it could have turned out when he started over, and luckily a billion, million, trillion times, I don’t have to worry about that because of you. My girls adore you. They talk about you all the time. They love your dog. They love the little gifts you buy them. They love your bobble head collection. They love that you saved their dog, and that you were there for them with their cat. They love that you are kind. And they love that you spend time with them. I am so grateful for you. I will never, ever begin to explain how grateful. Someday I will thank you in person. I don’t care how awkward it is, I will hug you for everything you have done for not only my children, but for me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I hope that one day when the girls are driving us both insane as defiant teenage girls, we can meet for a drink and plot their death sentences together. Or at least joke about it anyways. I’m not sure how everything in the future will pan out, but for the sake of my children, I hope you are a part of it……❤️❤️

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