Never again ordinary.

imagevia Daily Prompt: Ordinary

I used to be so ordinary. Stay at home mom, husband who worked his bum off, two kids, dog, cat, home in a cozy little neighborhood, in a cozy little town, and a routine I followed…every single day. This was so comfortable, absolutely not going to lie. But this was also ordinary hell for a not so ordinary me. I don’t even remember when I lost my extraordinary.

I get restless after about 5 minutes of sitting still. No joke. I’m severely ADHD right down to my core. I need to be moving, doing, thinking, learning, pushing myself, and here I was, doing laundry and my deepest thought during the day was, “how can I cook these chicken breasts differently then I did last week for dinner.” I used to have such a love for living. Adventure. I fed off that shit. I loved the feeling of the unknown. I loved excitement. I had lost it completely.

Now, I followed this comfortable routine for 8 years of my life, and everyday I felt a tiny bit of my extraordinary self die. It wasn’t fair to anyone. My husband was miserable, my kids thought a normal conversation between a mommy and a daddy was constant shouting, my dog couldn’t understand why I just didn’t feel like walking him anymore, and I had a permanent imprint on my lap from my cat.

This is was not cutting it.

One day dad finally had had enough also. He said what we had both been thinking for months. “I can’t do this anymore.”

I felt freedom instantly. (Well, not instantly, I was a stay at home mom, with no money, no house, no idea where to work, and not even a car in my name to get me there. I was scared. It was about 3 months later when freedom set in…..)

I found a tiny cabin on a beautiful river far enough away from the endless questions and nosiness of the world, but still close enough to meet the bus on the school district border. It was rough at first, but it was amazing. I started doing things I loved. I got a job. I spent all my time I could with my kids actually doing things. Not things like Disney and expensive arcades like we were used to because we had no money whatsoever, but things that honestly made us happier than that. Walking through the woods. Having picnics. Camping. Fishing.  Exploring. Adventuring. Laughing again. It was beautiful. I could feel myself coming back to life.

I had done it. (In a lot longer story than this, but you get my point.)  As hard as it was to leave ordinary…..financially, emotionally, and physically, I had done it and I had survived it. I am still surviving it. Is ordinary easy? You bet your ass it is, but why settle for ordinary, when you were born to be extraordinary?

 

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