How, “just a minute,” can make your life hell.

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“Just a minute.” Three words I say to my children like 5 billion times a day. Seems harmless, but is it? Let’s think about this a little bit here.

Example:

“Mom, come look at my puzzle.” You’re busy doing whatever. “Just a minute.” Continue doing whatever it is your doing. “Mom, are you coming to see my puzzle?” Still doing whatever you’re doing. “I said, just a minute.” “Mom! Mom! Mom!” Now you’re itritated and go in there, definitely irritated, and probably let them know that you are irritated before you even stop to praise them for their hard work on their puzzle.

I get it. Maybe you don’t want to get up 20 times to see each individual piece of the puzzle being added to their masterpiece. Maybe if you just say, “just a minute,” 20 times they will forget and stop asking. Chances are they will stop asking, but they will not forget that you did NOT do it.

So now it’s bedtime.

“Brush your teeth.” They don’t. “I said go brush your teeth.” Nothing. “Did you brush your damn teeth?” They say they will in, “just a minute.” 10 minutes have passed. “Get in the bathroom and brush your teeth or no puzzles tomorrow.”

Well, what do they care? Take the stupid puzzles away. You never went to look at it anyways, so what does it matter?

“Just a minute.”

Think very carefully everytime you decide to use those three extremely dangerous words, because they can and they will come back to haunt you.

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30 short parent tips for dummies.

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When I started my blogging journey, I eventually wanted to reach a point where I actually help and make a difference in parents lives. It’s a hard gig, parenting. We need all the love and support we can get.

In this post, I will be sharing some advise on raising children, simplified! Now, I think I need to put some sort of disclaimer here next. Disclaimer: I am not a professional. I am not pretending to be a professional. I don’t want to be a professional. Don’t substitute me for professional help. I should probably see a professional.

When in doubt, always remember:

  1. It’s not bedtime, even if it is.
  2. They brushed their teeth, even if they didn’t
  3. Dinner is gross, even though they ate it last week.
  4. Their room is clean. (It definitely isn’t.)
  5. They do not have homework. Ever.
  6. You always yell at them. Even when your not even there.
  7. Grandma is way more fun.
  8. You don’t love them. (My personal favorite.)
  9. Your love your other child more. (My other favorite.)
  10. They don’t have school on Wednesdays.
  11. You never let them do anything.
  12. There is nothing to do, even if your at Disney Land.
  13. They have nothing to play with. Their rooms are empty.
  14. Showers and baths are not a part of life.
  15. They did not wear their current outfit yesterday, or sleep in it.
  16. You don’t know anything, and I mean ANYTHING.
  17. They are not tired.
  18. They ARE tired.
  19. They are too full for dinner. But not too full for snacks.
  20. They promise they will take care of a (insert pain in the ass pet here.)
  21. You are mean.
  22. They JUST said that, you just didn’t hear them
  23. They DID answer you, you just didn’t hear them.
  24. They thought no meant yes.
  25. They thought yes meant no.
  26. They didn’t hit their sibling. Sibling is just a cry baby.
  27. Wearing jeans will kill them.
  28. Rats nest hair is TOTALLY in style.
  29. Yes, you want to watch High School Musical again.
  30. No, it isn’t fair.

Well there you have it. I am sure there is way more. Please feel free to comment anything I may have missed, like I always say, I am a work in progress. Pray for my children.

-momswearsweatpants

 

 

5 reasons parenting sucks the life out of you. Hang in there.

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Raising kids is exhausting. It’s has no official clock in time, and defineltly no official clock out time. It’s 24/7, 7 days a week, for life. Yeah, I know kids become adults at 18, and our days of raising them should at that point be over. But ask your parents if that actually happens…..

Actually, you don’t even have to ask, I’ll just tell you. It doesn’t. It’s never over. Ever. Our children are here for all of our living, breathing days, sucking the air right out of us. Sounds a bit scary if you’re reading this and don’t yet have children, doesn’t it?

Well it’s not that scary. It’s exhausting because our children literally suck the life out of us, but if we can do it, you can do it too.

I have made a little list of 5 ways your children will suck the life out of you. I made this list so that you know you are not alone. Do I have solutions? No. I’m a mom blogger, not a therapist.

1. Children are disgusting. Sounds harsh right? No. It’s so true. They are messy, they are dirty, and they don’t care.

-Personal Hygeine. They don’t like to bathe, brush their teeth, change their underwear, or change their clothes. Like ever.

-Personal Space. They don’t give two shits if there is food molding under their bed. They don’t give two shits if their bedroom smells like a dump. They don’t give two shits if you have to shovel yourself through their crap just to tuck them in.

-Personal Germ Suppliers. They literally touch or lick everything they see. Especially little kids. They wipe their snot on everything but a Kleenex. This isn’t just a little kid thing either. Older kids share everything. “I got a new lipgloss, let’s all take turns using it,” they’ll say to every single other girl on the bus. Yay! So glad we are having 10 different strains of the flu coming home in one small little gloss tube. Thank you for including the entire family in this wonderful gift of disease.

2. Children cost a small fortune. They are always outgrowing things. They are always ruining things. And they always WANT things. This never ends. Our children will look to us for money until they day we kick the bucket.

3. Children think they know everything. They will come to us with every problem they face in life. We will always be the first people that they turn to for advice. When we give them that advice, we are always going to be wrong. This is probably the most draining part about being a parent, but keep it up. Even if they are not listening to anything we tell them, it’s still being logged somewhere in those little heads of theirs for future use. “I can still here my mom/dads voice in my head saying…..” Exactly. It’s filed away up there somewhere and will eventually turn up again. We are NOT wasting our breath.

4. Children will hurt our feelings each and everyday for all eternity. They may or may not be doing this on purpose, but it still can cause us the same amount of pain. In my case it’s comparing our lives to others, “Sally and her family get to go on a Disney cruise for spring break. They’re so lucky.” They absoluelty were not at all trying to make us feel bad, but as parents we instantly feel guilty and wish that we too could afford a Disney cruise for our family over spring break, then instantly feel like a failure. This is normal. Just find something fun to do that doesn’t cost a years salary. It’s the time spent together that counts, and there will be plenty of time for Disney cruises in the future.

5. Children are always there. Sure, they go to school, and as they get older they start having more independance. But even after the ages where kids are 100% dependent of their parents, they are still everywhere you look. Their laundry, their dirty dishes, their toys, basically all of their shit is always there. Actually always everywhere. Even when you cannot  “physically” see your child, they always have ways of reminding you that they still are still there is spirit.

So there you have it. 5 things that literally suck the life out of me as a parent. None of these things have killed me yet, and I promise none of these things will kill you either. All in all, raising children is the most beautiful thing that will suck the life out of you. But sometimes it’s just nice to know that you’re not alone in the world.

 

Earth Boudoir Photography

I have never been a photographer that can take a picture of a waterfall or sunset that takes your breath away. I use the Earth and nature a little bit differently. I love to use it to help mothers actually FEEL as beautiful as they already are.

Authors note: A HUGE thank you to my beautiful sister in law for allowing me to use these pictures on the Internet for all the world to see. I love you long time.

via Photo Challenge: Earth

It’s okay to feel like an inadequate mother.

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There are like a billion things in our lifetime that make us feel inadequate. Am I right? Parenting is probably number one on that list. Am I right again? (Awkward if I’m not, and you are probably in the wrong place here.) How many times a day do you you feel like you’re not up to par with your kiddos? I think I do like maybe…26 times a day on average. Yup, 26ish….106ish times, somewhere in there maybe? I don’t know….

So, I’ve created a list of things in this world that make me feel totally inadequate every day with my kids. Now, there will be some examples of, THOSE moms on here, so please don’t get butt hurt. I only wish I could be half the mom that you are, but I’m not. So even though I laugh about your kids color coordinated closets, it doesn’t mean I don’t have crazy respect for you. Because I do, and I’m just jealous…and I have better things to do with my time, like YouTube animals that can eat with forks.

Anyways….

Number 5. In the spirit of Easter, I am going with moms that can whip up beautifully organized Easter baskets. You know, the kinds with the shiny pastel paper and matching grass? The baskets where the moms didn’t buy everything at DG, and shove it all in with every price tag still intact? Yup. Those moms are not “real moms.” My mom was not a “real mom” when it came to Easter. Her baskets were like looking at a tropical island sunset. I really wish I would have inherited her beautiful Easter basket stuffing skills, but I didnt. Mine looked kind of like the clearance bin full of kids junk at Walmart. It wasn’t pretty.

Number 4. The toy and candy machines outside of stores that kids insist are a matter of life or death. They used to all be a quarter. Now it’s like .75 for one damn sticker. This makes me feel inadequate because guess what? My groceries cost me every cent I had in my wallet, so no you cannot have just one. Im glad you’re going to cry the whole way home now. Thanks gumball machines, my kid hates me now, and I hate you.

Number 3. Those damn dads dancing with their daughters on YouTube. You guys are amazing, and I am the worst mother alive.

Number 2. Pinterest. Anything I see on Pinterest. Not only am I a failure as a mother, but I am also a failure at life. (Pinterest + Chantal forever even still though. My love will never die.)

And topping the charts is tonight’s list of inadequacy…….

Number 1. Grandma’s. Why do you have to be so fun? Why do you have to do everything so perfect? Why do my kids like you more than me? This is our punishment for being horrible daughters to you isn’t it? Well guess what? Thank you so much for being the coolest human beings alive. You’re the only thing on this list that makes me okay with being inadequate. Oh, and I’m dropping my kids off for the night on Friday. Enjoy!

 

Can’t is just CAN taking up too much space.

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I can’t do this. I can’t keep trying. I can’t make it work. I can’t continue on. I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t get it right. I can’t keep going. I can’t hold on. I can’t believe in myself. I can’t believe in my thoughts. I can’t figure out a purpose. I can’t figure life out.

I won’t succeed. I won’t try anymore. I won’t follow imaginary dreams. I won’t keep doing this to myself. I won’t make it. I won’t reach my goals. I won’t be taken seriously. I won’t be happy. I won’t be succsessful. I won’t figure it out. I won’t be worthy enough. I won’t be good enough. I won’t be smart enough.

I won’t. I can’t.

Won’t. Can’t.

Two words. Two meaningless words. Change those words in your life. Remove those words out of your life. Whatever you are trying to achieve, those two words will not help you do so. Whatever you are trying to achieve, those two words will not help you get there. Those two words may not continue your journey with you, or you are doomed to fail. Those two words will knock you down.

But guess what? Those two words are replaceable. Those two words can be easily changed.

Will. Can.

I will. I can.

Take a piece of paper. Remove all of the wont’s and cant’s. Replace them with will’s and can’s. Say them out loud. Say them again. And again. And again. Believe them. Believe in you. If you will, then you can. But if you can’t, then you won’t.

Do it now.

 

Adventures in Cape Cod.

via Daily Prompt: Unravel

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Spring and Summer are about to UNRAVEL all around us! What kind of adventures will be unraveling around you this year!?

I took the picture above last May on a surprise trip I took my BF on for his birthday to Cape Cod, MA. We love to fish, he had never seen the ocean, I wanted to see whales, and we both love to eat. Hello Cape Cod. Deep sea fishing, whale watching, almost completely surrounded by beautiful ocean beaches, and all the fresh lobster you can possibly eat. (Or afford.) Jackpot.

For those of you who are not lame like us, this place seemed pretty low key, which is in fact perfect for us, as we were in bed by like 9pm every night. We weren’t really there during a busy season either. I’m sure Provincetown has the potential to party it up! Basically we were deep into a sleep induced food coma that early each night. No joke, you can get lobster everywhere. And for DIRT cheap. Here is BF eating his first lobster. He was terrified.

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So in May in Cape Cod, the weather is usually about 40-50 degrees. We lucked out somehow and the temps were reaching highs of like 80 a couple of the days we were there. The locals said it was not a common thing. We felt very unprepared in all of our warm clothes we packed, but they were also necessary for our early morning hikes down the miles and miles of foggy beaches.

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It is seriously one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited. Everything is just clean. Everything is built so beautiful too. It’s like a different planet.

If you are unsure on deep sea fishing, you can go out for a day for like $50 bucks a person. No joke, all you need to do is research it. You will find amazing deals, and you will catch fish. LOTS of fish. Someday I want to go on a two day Bluefin Tuna trip, but it’s just not in my budget just yet. These fish were so fun to catch though! Unfortunately I can’t remember if it’s a Haddock or a Pollack. Either way, a blast and it was literally $50 bucks. (And they take the fish off for you!)

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This year for BF’s birthday, we are heading to Deadwood, SD to pay our respects to Wild Bill, pan for gold, and see what the Wild Wild west has to offer. (Sawyer Brown is putting on a free concert at Wild Bill days too! And I like free entertainment!)

So again, where are all of your adventures going to unravel this year?!

PS – BF looked really crabby in the lobster picture….I’ll end this with one where he saw the ocean for the very first time, and is smiling- just so he doesn’t give the impression that he is an old grump!

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