There are like a billion things in our lifetime that make us feel inadequate. Am I right? Parenting is probably number one on that list. Am I right again? (Awkward if I’m not, and you are probably in the wrong place here.) How many times a day do you you feel like you’re not up to par with your kiddos? I think I do like maybe…26 times a day on average. Yup, 26ish….106ish times, somewhere in there maybe? I don’t know….
So, I’ve created a list of things in this world that make me feel totally inadequate every day with my kids. Now, there will be some examples of, THOSE moms on here, so please don’t get butt hurt. I only wish I could be half the mom that you are, but I’m not. So even though I laugh about your kids color coordinated closets, it doesn’t mean I don’t have crazy respect for you. Because I do, and I’m just jealous…and I have better things to do with my time, like YouTube animals that can eat with forks.
Number 5. In the spirit of Easter, I am going with moms that can whip up beautifully organized Easter baskets. You know, the kinds with the shiny pastel paper and matching grass? The baskets where the moms didn’t buy everything at DG, and shove it all in with every price tag still intact? Yup. Those moms are not “real moms.” My mom was not a “real mom” when it came to Easter. Her baskets were like looking at a tropical island sunset. I really wish I would have inherited her beautiful Easter basket stuffing skills, but I didnt. Mine looked kind of like the clearance bin full of kids junk at Walmart. It wasn’t pretty.
Number 4. The toy and candy machines outside of stores that kids insist are a matter of life or death. They used to all be a quarter. Now it’s like .75 for one damn sticker. This makes me feel inadequate because guess what? My groceries cost me every cent I had in my wallet, so no you cannot have just one. Im glad you’re going to cry the whole way home now. Thanks gumball machines, my kid hates me now, and I hate you.
Number 3. Those damn dads dancing with their daughters on YouTube. You guys are amazing, and I am the worst mother alive.
Number 2. Pinterest. Anything I see on Pinterest. Not only am I a failure as a mother, but I am also a failure at life. (Pinterest + Chantal forever even still though. My love will never die.)
And topping the charts is tonight’s list of inadequacy…….
Number 1. Grandma’s. Why do you have to be so fun? Why do you have to do everything so perfect? Why do my kids like you more than me? This is our punishment for being horrible daughters to you isn’t it? Well guess what? Thank you so much for being the coolest human beings alive. You’re the only thing on this list that makes me okay with being inadequate. Oh, and I’m dropping my kids off for the night on Friday. Enjoy!